What is it with Christmas and punishment?
The Elf on the Shelf police state is watching you on behalf of Santa – who is already watching, who is ready to give a lump of coal to anyone he deems “naughty.” Grýla (with or without her third husband) marches to villages and asks parents to hand over their naughty children for her to cook into a stew. Frau Perchta guts the children who haven’t finished their spinning, sewing straw into their emptied carcasses. Krampus and Belsnickel are waiting in the wings to redden your behind with a bundle of sticks should you misbehave. The monstrous, giant Yule Cat roams Iceland and straight-up eats anyone who didn’t receive and wear any new clothes for Christmas (???). Then there’s God and Saturn and other deities, who punish you in a more “eternal damnation” sort of way.
Most holiday legends insist that these punishers – and their kindly, gift-giving counterparts – are only encouraging people to live morally-upstanding, kind, considerate lives. The negative reinforcement gives some stakes to the game, reminding kids that there are consequences for bad actions. So what if those consequences might be disembowelment, kidnapping, torture or murder? Kids need to know that there are repercussions for… let me check my notes… not going to bed on time? Not doing all of their chores? Not being nice to their siblings? (Why do we all have anxiety? The world may never know.)
But, of course, it’s really just parents expecting their kids to show some godforsakenspitroastingmotherloving gratitude once in a while, right? It was always a tool for parents to get their kids to behave. These punishing figures were made out to be the bad guys, the ones dangling the possibility of presents and fun in exchange for good behavior – certainly the parents would never do that!
On Krampusnacht, we celebrate and delight in this strange custom of extreme, scary negative reinforcement. An actual monster roams the streets, whipping and kidnapping children, and we thank him for his service.
He’s just making sure the kiddies stay on the straight and narrow, after all! If they’re good, they’ve got nothing to worry about, right?
Yeahhhhhhh… if that sounds at all familiar…
Of course it doesn’t actually work like that. Naughty kids still get presents all the time, perfectly good kids end up without gifts and wonder what they did wrong. In spite of all these threats, many parents still heap gifts on their children – even if they didn’t go to bed at eight or refused to brush their teeth or pulled their sister’s hair. In spite of all the promises of good things, many kids go to bed on Christmas Eve with high hopes that will be dashed come morning.
It’s the stupidest narrative. It’s a harmful narrative.
I love these punishing figures. As a joke among adults who know better, it’s such fun! Krampusnacht has become a night almost exclusively for people who delight in watching B-horror movies. The idea that there’s a giant, hairy, horned and hooved monster out there that serves as the perfect counter-balance to the live, laugh, love of St. Nicholas is so much fun! (And some adult folks might possibly be willingly lining up for the switch or actin’ out just to see what happens, maybe. Some people.) (Me. I’m talking about me.) (Just look at that picture up there. Raise your hand if you absolutely would.)
But to seriously, straight-facedly tell a child that there are enormous, terrifying, possibly permanent repercussions for minor, totally normal childhood bad behaviors? That’s cruel. Of course there are big consequences for some actions – we have to obey laws, after all. And heaven knows that sometimes, “Santa will bring you a lump of coal” really is the only thing that will get your kid to stop stuffing cotton balls in the dryer vent for some reason why god how did this get started what put this in your head and why won’t you listen to reason, child?
But suggesting to children that holiday gifts are a reward for morally-upstanding behavior – and that inherently, not receiving gifts or to receive punishment means that you were a bad person? Nope. Cut it out.